Open Thread: Kitchen Mistakes

Some of you might know – I did this blog thing before. I wrote about city parks in the Lehigh Valley with a primary focus on the City of Allentown. Heck, that blog even won a couple of awards from The Morning Call in 2011 and 2012. Alas, it couldn’t live forever and I abandoned it entirely into a hidden away private internet space a couple of years ago. A couple of weeks into this new venture – despite having figured out the real purpose on this new site, I cannot escape the trappings of the past. Well, not entirely. I am a blogger regenerated. More cranky and rude this time but still me. Probably. The thing that irritated me the post about my first blog was the lack of community interaction. I am going to attempt and change that this time. Every Saturday will be an open thread post. Leave some comments.
parksToday, I would like hear about your biggest kitchen mistakes. The holy shit what I have I done, are you kidding me, how could this have happened, Does this make me Victor Frankenstein? kind of mistakes. I am going to share some of mine in a moment but I have some housekeeping items first. Kleiner’s Kitchen is now on instagram! You should follow for more pictures and stuff. Also, Kleiner’s Kitchen is on Facebook for your liking. Please share. I ask you to share knowing that I have put myself in the hot seat this week. I will be posting Sunday Statuses for here on out. I will share scale readings, walking maps, myfitnesspal stats, and maybe just maybe I will share a walk or two in the park. You can be as rude and new as you want but you’ll always have your bowtie, scarf, and sandshoes.
THE ELEVEN DOCTORSNot a Mistake but I have to tell it: That time the Oven Exploded

Christmas Eve. Maybe 1999? Cookies baking in the oven. Family playing a board game at the kitchen table. A spark, pop, rumble, and smoke. My brother jumped up from the table, AT FULL SPEED, slammed the back door open and ran into the farthest spot of the yard from the kitchen. The oven was finished but the house didn’t burn down. Did I mention my brother was a boy scout?

Mistake 1: That time I tried to Thicken Stew

My culinary experimentation began at a young age. My mother likes to tell the story about the time that Andrew, as a very young boy, demanded a plastic kitchen set replete with pink plastic silverware, dishes, pots, and pans. I graduated from my pick plastic kitchen set to a kid wok. I would fry up some chicken and soy sauce and throw a bag of frozen vegetables in and make some rice. And I did alright. And then I tried to make stew. In the end stages of the process, I thought the stew looked more like brown beef water and I decided to thicken it up. I went for the cornstarch, threw some in, and then – wait, what? I used cornmeal. The stew was entirely ruined and I was completely embarrassed.

Mistake 2: That time we tried to Brine Wings 

Ugh. This was like 6 months ago. I really should have known better considering I have a more than basic understanding of chemistry. My friend CJ and I wanted to make some wings to eat while watching football and cursing our fantasy teams to oblivion. (I went 12-1 for the record and got screwed in the playoffs and didn’t even place. Whatever.) Well, we decided to brine the wings first. In the plastic bag went the brine and the chicken. And then we waited a day. We should have waited at the most – for one hour. The finished product tasted more like a salt lick for deer than the fatty, spicy, saucy Sunday snack we had dreamed of creating. I call those “Shit the bed wings”. That was bad.

One thought on “Open Thread: Kitchen Mistakes

  1. When I was in NOLA, I purchased catfish. I had dreams of creating a meal as delicious as ones I had eaten out. I wanted to oven “fry” it with bisquick, but this being NOLA, I of course had bugs crawling in the bisquick. Awesome. So I seasoned up some flour, coated the filet, and into the oven it went. First, i didn’t cook it long enough. I thought I did, but the first bite was raw and gummy and NOT okay. Back into the oven. I was so hungry at this point. Finally it was done. I sat down with my beautiful looking fish and a side (probably of greens?). The verdict: It was disgusting. I know people say catfish can taste like the river, and I’m all good and fine with that, but this tasted straight like Mississippi Mud. And if you have smelt the MI in NOLA, you know what I mean. It was so bad, I through it out and made myself a grilled cheese. I guess this mishap isn’t really my fault (bad fish), but one of the few meals I can remember making that was so inedible I had to make myself something else.


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