Week Six: I Hit a Wall

For a minute there – I thought I might get away with it. The fitness thing was going to be easy. I was going to look like The Rock by year’s end. I was going to be handing out tickets to the gun show. I was on a one way road to wellness my friends.

 Last Saturday, I did 3.1 miles and in the days to follow – I hit a wall.

I had/have to push harder now. I am having a very difficult time incorporating the strength training exercises into my schedule because of professional and personal commitments and, I think, I am resting on my laurels a little bit. I have made significant progress. 7 days into May – I have walked as much as I walked for the entire month of October, November, December, January, and February. .

The lunchtime industrial park walks – I have to go a little faster now and a little longer. The nighttime walks around the West End – same thing. And, I absolutely need to get on this strength training that I have been shitty about for the last week and a half. It is not easy and I know all the clichés about change and work, etc. I simply have to do it. I have come this far and changed so much – I must go farther.

There are tangible changes though that now feel like they are my routine. Last Saturday, on free Comic Book Day, instead of driving to Beachead Comics – I walked. I have walked to my bar, the Liberty Street Tavern, almost every time I have gone there for a beer over the last 5 weeks. I would not have walked anywhere six months ago. Hell – I used to drive to the Farmer’s Market in the Allentown Fairgrounds. It’s a block and a half from my front door.

Even as I say I hit a wall – I am still moving, walking, thinking positively. I am still eating well. I am still getting better. The worry I have had about failure is slowly being replaced by frustration. I want to be at the destination. I want to keep feeling even better physically. I want to feel less ashamed of my body. And, I am – that’s the thing. I am feeling both those things but, I am still on the tightrope.

If I fall – these six weeks and my progress are wasted. This blog, my story, would be deleted and the entire endeavor could be marked by my friends and family as one of those kooky things Kleiner does. I’m writing this to hold myself accountable. I am not working hard enough. I am not pushing hard enough. I have grown comfortable with the progress I have made and am settling in and coasting. I’ve hit a wall.

I will push harder in the days to come. I am going to continue righting this ship. I will report back to you next week with better results. This cannot be one of Kleiner’s kooky ideas. Not this time. I will continue to celebrate my progress but rather than becoming comfortable with it – I need to use it as inspiration for the next step.

We all hit walls. This is not going to be the last one I face on this journey. I’m going climb this sucker.

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